Six questions with... Monty Moncrieff MBE
Monty Moncrieff is the Chief Executive of London Friend, the UK’s oldest LGBT charity, which works to improve health and wellbeing. He has been working and volunteering in LGBT services for almost 25 years, including 10 years with Switchboard, the LGBT+ Helpline. In 2002 he set up Antidote, an LGBT drug and alcohol service which London Friend now manages. In 2018 he was awarded an MBE for services to LGBT equality.
Outside of work he’s mildly obsessed with the Eurovision Song Contest and co-hosts Second Cherry – Almost a Eurovision Podcast (a niche programme so geeky it’s about the songs that tried to get to Eurovision but never even made it).
What’s your favourite way to greet people?
Hoping that I know who they are! I’m terrible with names and faces, and I meet so many people in my work, so often people will come up to me at an event and say hello again, and I really struggle to place them and remember where and how we’ve met before. It’s a rubbish quality for someone who has to professionally network.
If I do know someone though I’m usually a hugger. Handshakes always feel a bit too formal in the queer world.
What conversation makes you happy?
Most conversations do actually. Even if they’re difficult ones that need to be had, it always feels better to talk abut things. More generally conversations are a sign of connection, and we all need that in our lives.
I like it when people talk about something they’re passionate about. Enthusiasm is contagious, and it’s wonderful to see people experiencing joy.
Also, any conversation I can swing round to my own love of the Eurovision Song Contest. Oh look! I’ve just done it again...
What conversation topic makes you nervous?
I’m usually up for tackling any topic. I’m quite happy talking about something with someone who has opposing views than mine as I think this generally helps us understand one another better, even if I continue to disagree with them.
Sometimes it’s an opportunity to challenge them, but you’ve got to pick your battles. I think I’m better now at understanding when it’s worth it. Usually it’s much more effective to work behind the scenes – training, campaigning, working with policymakers, for example – to try to change the bigger picture rather than try to change an individual’s opinion. It’s just not worth the energy sometimes.
What makes you laugh?
I LOVE laughing! Humour is so important to me. I’ve got quite a silly sense of humour, so I like it when people aren’t afraid to make a tit of themselves purely to have a laugh.
I love clever word play and good observation, so I adored Victoria Wood and was devastated when she died. At the moment I’m really enjoying the Something Rhymes With Purple podcast with Gyles Brandreth and Susie Dent from Countdown. It talks about the history of language, often the funnier side, and it makes me laugh out loud on the Tube when I’m listening with my headphones.
I also love bawdy humour and a good double-entendre. It was used brilliantly in radio shows like Julian and Sandy from the 60s. They used lots of Polari, the almost-lost secret language of gay men, and it allowed them to bring really quite smutty gay humour to the daytime airwaves. Listeners would sense something was funny, but not always get all the meanings. Bona!
If you could ask someone, dead or alive, anything - who and what would you ask them?
I’d ask Kate Bush why she still hasn’t released that bloody DVD of her live shows in 2014. Come on, girl, let’s see it!
What’s the bravest thing you’ve ever done?
I think coming out is still a brave thing to do. It certainly is in many countries that continue to criminalise gay sex. Mine took forever – it was years after I started coming out to friends before I was fully out to family, so I completely understand when people still struggle with it.
Professionally I’ve taken a leap of faith a couple of times – leaving jobs with nothing to go to. One of these was managing a pub, so I had to leave my accommodation on the same day. Thankfully that’s turned out well for me in the end. I may have ended up here somewhat by chance, but my current job is by far the best one I’ve ever had.